The Crush Diaries: Back To The Future

Missed out on the previous post of the series? Here’s the link: The Crush Diaries: Episode Two

Let’s fast forward to the future.The present girl that I am doesn’t like having crushes. She thinks of them as a burden. And if people have a crush on her, she retaliates by cutting them out of her life. Why,you ask? Because I love my freedom more than anything else in the world. I love my solitude, love my me-time and I really love having no drama in my life. Sometimes, I see my friends crushing on people, getting into relationships etc. But I’m happy without any of it. I don’t need the PDA nor do I need to lose sleep over what he wrote and what cryptic thing it could have meant ( International Football is doing a good enough job of ruining my sleep).

Of course I still love romance and rom-coms. I ship so many people and I probably have more than fifty one-true-pairings. And to me the concept of “love” is still enchanting. So while I do have crushes,  they don’t bother me much anymore. I mean I still hate them because I’d rather not have any at all, but with the evolution of myself…I’ve learnt that I’m my best companion. And while no human is an island and social enrichment is just as necessary as personal, I’ll still choose spending time alone with myself over getting coffee with my crush.

I’ve realized after much confusing emotions, weird events (all will be revealed in time) that no other person has the ability to make me happier than I can make myself. I do need someone to look after me when I’m old, but we’ll see if I can get a way around it. I’m the only constant and I’m the only one I have to be affectionate towards, crushes and all are fun for about a minute but each moment of pining seems like eternal misery, misery I will be perfectly fine without.

Men will come and men will go and Valar Morghulis*. But I’m here to stay. So I’ll love me and choose myself, forever and always.

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(*All men must die)