The Child Therapist: 1

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Once upon a time, in a faraway land lived a young girl with her parents. She was quite the queer sort, had trouble fitting in with her peers, couldn’t read or write and had a terrible time at school. The toddler faced a lot of ridicule and humiliation at the hands of her teachers, had basically no friends. The only friends she had were two bullies, on was a liar and a thief, and the other had a hidden cruelty in her. They kept her around so they could brow-beat the girl for fun…children are cruel. At home, the parents always fought. Screaming, shouting and more…the parents didn’t have enough money, had a lot of debt and they were extremely incompatible. The mother was insensitive who always remained drowned in her own sorrows: She was an orphan, had a brother with down’s syndrome and  it was through a lot of toil and trouble she pursued her education and became a teacher. The father was an oversensitive man: He was neglected as a child, never loved by his mother and the woman he loved married someone else. The only reason these two ended up together is because the wife looked like his lost-love, and the reason she married him was because she needed a safe haven for herself and her retarded brother. Until they started living together, the young couple didn’t realize how utterly destructive they were together. All the did was fight…to add to this uncomfortable situation, the woman was pregnant. She gave birth to a beautiful little baby-girl, and then ignored her for the rest of childhood. The girl grew up unloved and neglected, prone to anxiety and mockery…no one would help, they wouldn’t teach her anything. But she was an intelligent child, she learnt how to get their attention, since crying didn’t work she developed her listening skills. She became her mother’s confidante, her mother told her every minute, miserable detail of her painful past, her disadvantageous present and that is how the mother slowly started noticing her. To be quite honest, the woman hadn’t thought of her as a blessing before this.

The Friend List: Episode Six

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Have you ever felt extremely blank? I feel that way right now. Anyways, here’s the link to the previous post, in case you wanted to catch up: The Friend List: Episode Five. Enjoy!

Lately my posts have been a bit too positive for my taste but unfortunately, this post is also going to be full of rainbows and glitter. A post about the three guy friends that I have. All of them are like the three legs of a stool. They balance each other out. While the three of them are very good friends to me, I don’t know them well enough to write up individual posts about them. So here’s a combined one for you to read.

The first friend that I’m going to talk about is one of my most favourite people in the world. He’s funny, nice and is similar to a kitten in many respects. He’s like adorable and compact, and his presence has a default effect of calming me down. My exams go better if he’s around, he sort of suspends this sense of impending doom that I have. Makes me panic less. He’s got a knack in making dull topics and boring conversations into a laughing fest, you’ll never get bored with him. He’s great to be around.

The second friend is someone I’ve known since elementary school Didn’t really like him at first, but he grew on me. He’s a modern day Casanova who is like kryptonite to the ladies. Thankfully, I’m immune to his charms. If you can get past all the looks and the fanciness…there is a very generous person hidden underneath. The proverb: A friend in need is a friend indeed, is most apt for him. While he maybe a bit out there with his actions, he has the makings of an exceptional friend.

My third friend can be described as a recurring character in my life. He’s a very polite person, nicer than it should be allowed for one to be. Someone who has a very strong moral compass and has wisdom way beyond his age. He’s a sage, and he’s obviously making me more of a glass-half-full kind of human. He says stuff that I don’t understand and half the time what he says is like a tangent over my circular head. But his confusing company is still invigorating and enjoyable.

Boys and girls can be friends. By that I mean, just friends and nothing more. I just gave you three examples of opposite genders being friends. Let’s just agree to disagree, in case you don’t believe that. These three people are very different from one-another, but they’re all equally amazing friends to me.

My first friend sees the best in me, the second friend gives me company and the third friend is my spirit guide. All of them have very important roles in my life, roles that in some indirect manner help in harmonizing my emotions and sense of self. All my friends do.

I know that two of them will soon be reading this, and I’m still trying to get the other one to read. So when you do read this, I hope you realize that I’m being good to you and this is not a sentimental post, at all. It’s clean, hard facts in precise wording…so enjoy it!

And reader, I hope you liked this post. Just two more left for the series to end. Bye!

The Friend List: Episode Five

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Okay, so my friend from The Friend List: Episode Four doesn’t hate me, in case you were wondering. She’s okay with what I wrote. Now moving on to the next person on the list.

So you’ve met my tiniest friend, now it’s time for you to meet my namesake with an extra K. She’s a make up wiz and can magically turn a hideous troll, like me, into the Queen of bad-assery. She’s always been my companion, at first reluctantly and then after a few years, willingly. Yes, I know that my childhood self sounds like a beyotch who was hated by everyone. Anyway, she’s a nice person, my friend I mean.

We’ve literally been together since kindergarten, because of our names. And then onwards, we were each other’s permanent classmates. Often mistaken as twins, because of our names (again). Appearance wise both us are polar opposites. I look like a fashionable vagabond and she’s basically a make-up clad pixie. I’m tall and she’s less so. I’m a broad Broad and she’s a petite person who looks younger than she really is. I’ve even pretended to be her elder sister in order to get her inside the movie theaters. She’s cute AF.

So, as I was saying that apart from being my namesake, she’s also the namesake of the “Traces of You” singer and Grammy award winner, without the O ( Anoushka Shankar, ya’ll). We have a lot of history, she and I. A few controversies, some jealousy on both sides but also an unbreakable bond. We have always shared everything with each other and even though she left the school I went to , our friendship remained intact.

Here’s a story: She and I used to carpool together. This happened when we were four or five years old. The bus driver stopped at the gates of my home and as I was about to get off from the bus, he slammed the door on my face. He chided me and interrogated me about why was I about to climb out of the bus, into an unknown neighbourhood. I was flabbergasted, befuddled, extremely confused etc. My mother came out and stood on the parapet, waiting for her daughter.

Suddenly, I noticed my mother leaving without me! And, guess what…another girl was by her side. My mother didn’t even realize, that that wasn’t even her own off-spring. Off-topic: This isn’t the first time she’s done something like that. Once, she crossed the road with her mother. Only it wasn’t her mother, it was a crazy homeless lady. So you see that this is a pretty ordinary mistake for her.

The girl was my friend. She didn’t say anything either…but how could you expect a toddler would be the one to point out the grown-up’s mistake? I, for once in my life, made a scene. Yes, I did. I screamed and called my mom. I started beating against the window. My mother turned her head back to see what was the chaos about. And it was then she realized, that I wasn’t the little girl holding her hand. Hilarious, I know.

We have many adventures together, accumulated enough to last a lifetime. A lifetime of tears, tales and laughs. But this story is my favourite one. We’re still very good friends and I even went out with her and had Ethiopian Coffee two days ago.

You might be wondering why I wrote that. The reason behind is that I hate going out. On the rare occasions I do feel like going out, they’re mostly a spur-of -the-moment decision…people often RSVP ‘no’ to such outings. But she didn’t because she’s awesome.

The only friend that I know will always be my friend. That’s her. Keep rocking, you amazing lady!

Bye for now.

The Friend List: Episode Four

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Hi reader, if you’re following the series and missed out on the last post, here’s the link: The Friend List: Episode Three. Have fun reading!

She’s the tiniest friend that I have. She looks like a ten year old but she’s about to step in to adulthood with just seconds off the bat (metaphorically speaking). She’s a July disaster, a wannabe doctor, a general knowledge enthusiast and a maestro stalker. Absolutely loves Dead Poets Society and Robin Williams. She describes herself as an unconventional ambivert. This paragraph looks somewhat like those TBH posts on Facebook and it’s time to change it up.

She and I had known each other for a while, but neither of us had made any effort to get to know each other better. NIC happened and our presumptions about each other changed, at least mine did for sure. I’d always known she was a polite person, but never thought that we’d find any common ground. I can’t figure out a way to write this out,  so here goes: she’s an entanglement of ideologies, a person who thrives on being different. A comic mystery.

She’s your run-of-the-mill rebel, non-conformist in the most standard way. You would never think that we’d ever be friends if you judged based on appearance and actions. She’s the sarcastic zealot and I’m the docile destruction. We had similar tastes in books, serials and movies. Making fun of Amy from The Secret Life Of An American Teenager somehow brought  us closer. It was that and other such random conversations that revealed that we were kindred spirits or some synonym of that.

We sat together in the last two years of our school. We had quite fun for sometime, I started to think that we were extremely alike. But we’re not, she’s quite different. And though our wavelengths are in the same range…if she’s mauve, I’m violet. Same but not really.

It’s hilarious how contrasting we would seem to you, she’s got that grunge/gothic look and I dress like a homeless person meets Prada, i.e, branded rubbish. She cuts and styles her own hair and I ruin my professionally cut one. She’s confident and shiny but I’m melancholic and a bit mad, to be honest.

The tale of the tiny disaster. It goes something like this: Girl likes guy, guy leads her on and then breaks her heart. A wall forms around her heart and she decides it’s best to not feel anymore. She likes the heartbreakers and players. Our tastes in the people ,we find, is akin to our personalities. Simultaneously different and not.

If you are a more or less thorough reader, you’d notice that I mentioned some stuff about me almost becoming a recluse. And I  did mention that controversy that set this into motion. And now begins story time.

One of her friends, our classmate ( a person no one actually likes) made up this huge lie about how I’d called her boyfriend ugly and fat. Can you even believe that? I am ugly and fat, I know that saying stuff like that sucks. Why would I even call someone I don’t even know mean names? Like, what is the purpose of doing that? I didn’t do that.

I confronted this classmate. Asked her that why did she not ask me to my face if I had actually said anything instead of whispering curses behind my back. She’s a liar, and a drama queen, no really… I’m not being rude, I’m stating facts. She wouldn’t even own up to the far worse things she had said about me. That is, until I sent her the screenshots of her conversations forwarded to me by others . We spoke it out, and she successfully implanted seeds of mistrust in my mind ( that machiavellian mastermind). She told me  that one of my closest friends had told her that…and after a lot of inquiring. She revealed the answer. Guess who it was? Yup, you guessed it.

And this along with some other information that had come to light, I felt as though our friendship was a lie. Probably not meant to last, I still liked her as a person…but thought that she didn’t make a very good friend. I did realize that she wasn’t the one who put words into my mouth. It was the Queen bee, herself who did that. So I excluded myself, from her and almost everyone.

This sounds bad, I know. But over time, I returned to my normal state of mind and realized that none of this high school stupidity mattered. It did a little, but not that much…not anymore. One day, she texted my mom and I saw the text. She thought I was ignoring her, but I was actually pretending that my past didn’t exist. And I realized that it wasn’t right of me to behave this way. Especially because I don’t know what actually went on. However, I do trust her and believe that she would never harm me. Not intentionally, anyway.

So if you’re reading this, don’t be pissed at me. Because I did say that I was going to be objective. You’re a brilliant person. You’re awesome and I hope you don’t hate me and my blog after reading this. Hopefully, we’ll remain friends, okay?

( I’ll let you, reader, know if she hates me now. Bye.)

 

The Friend List: Episode Three

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Previously on the series: The Friend List: Episode Two. Enjoy!

The girl with spectacles, who looks timid and shy but is actually one of the boldest and most confident people you’ll ever meet, according to me anyway. She often starts her sentences like this: ” Don’t be offended but… ( something really offensive when you hear it for the first time)”. She is frank, courageous and has serious gumption.  I absolutely adore her for her many wonderful qualities, my favourite being her understanding of how lazy and flaky I can be when I make plans to go out with her. I’ve cancelled our plans a ridiculous amount of times, due to the stupidest of reasons. Believe it or not, she’s still friends with me.

We got to know each other as classmates in 8th grade. In retrospection, this was pretty much the only highlight of the year ( that and my physics marks). We didn’t get along straight away, she was unusually frank and I was more used to people pointing out my flaws behind my back. She used to stick with the people she knew, and as always I stuck in my thought bubble. We were just acquaintances. It was in the next four years that we became friends.

Both of us loved books, she was a potterhead of the first degree and I was a twilight shipper. Funnily enough, I’ve read all of J.K Rowlings’ works except The Harry Potter series. Both of us are geeks, she was cooler than me but she also looked the part better. Over time I started liking her outspokenness and as I got to know her, I became fond of her. She was/is entertaining and is the master of sublime conversations.

One time, in P.E class we were playing throwball, god knows why but I thought of using the ball for football. I kicked it, it went up in the air, and hit her. I broke her glasses, and I started panicking. Any other person would have, logically, shouted my head off and stopped hanging out with me. But not her, instead she made me stop panicking and blaming fate for this misfortune instead. She really is awesome.

The common thing between both of us is that we never fit in, anywhere. She felt replaceable and I felt ignored by the people we called friends. We’d talk about everything, from ranting about our school teachers to mocking our juniors. She would tell about her escapades of truancy, she really wanted me to experience that with her. But I couldn’t do it, I’m weird and overly cautious. And I have the worst luck when it comes to doing something that I shouldn’t.

I don’t know what she actually thinks of me, I presume… good stuff. She reads my blogs and critiques them for me. Suggests ways to make it more life-like. She’s one of the three people who understand me fully and never ask me to change. She would( still does) often dabble as my part time shrink. And as a way of payment, I help her get over her crushes. Her screenshots are hilarious with a capital H.

Reader, let me tell you that mocking you to your face instead of talking behind your back is the hallmark of a great friendship. We’re both weird and we get the best out of each other. She’s very different from me, but our differences just make us bond better. And we never run out of things to say to each other.

Bro, I love you! sorry for acting like a douche and bailing on our plans. I’m just very lazy and the thought of stepping outside, under the sun…ugh, I’m already tired. You are one of the best people in my life and I hope we remain friends forever. Also, don’t get very flattered, this is a once in a lifetime event. So enjoy!

And reader, hope you’re enjoying as well.

 

The Friend List: Episode Two

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Okay, I had Ethiopian Coffee today. And for the first time, I realize what the actual power of caffeine is, no sleep for me tonight. Previous post: The Friend List: Episode One, I hope you enjoy reading this.

Think Gigi Hadid, Rachel McAdams, Emma Stone and “Pride & Prejudice” era Keira Kinghtley. Now imagine a girl who bears resemblance to all of the above ladies. Yeah, a girl that pretty. Not everything that I write is a sob story, this friend and I are still in touch (hopefully for perpetuity, fingers crossed). Not only is she beautiful, she is extremely hard-working and diligent. An aspiring journalist, writer and she hopes to be the recipient of either the Pulitzer or Booker awards. Yes, she is ambitious and she’ll probably make this happen.

This friend and I have known each other since we were ten. I’d seen her around in school, everybody knew her because she was the tallest girl there. We became friends when she moved into my neighbourhood and we started traveling in the same bus. We got along great,  both of us hated most of the people who used to carpool with us and we both lived close by. I thought her to be very cool with her extensive knowledge of popular English songs which she shared with us through her mellifluous voice. She was/is a serious singer.

Everything about her seems brilliant, right? Wrong. The one thing you must know about her is that she will never tell you what’s going on inside her head. I knew her very well, or so I thought. Turns out that while I had been going through my spells of depression, she was going through hers as well. And I never had a clue, I never figured that someone as talented, pretty and intelligent as her would have self-esteem issues.

For years, we did everything together…mostly studying ( and talking). Once somebody had asked her if she knew everything about me and she had nodded yes. I had been angered at how could she think that, you can never know everything about someone. But now I realize she was right to think so.  Compared to what I knew about her, she knew much more about me. She used to tease me about my obesity…and I teased her of Anorexia, just out of sheer meanness. Didn’t realize that she actually was anorexic and had body-image problems.

To everyone it would seem that her life had to be perfect. She had looks, brains and  she had tamed the most sought-after bachelor of our school. That made her a subject to scrutiny, now that she wasn’t single. People started hating her for dating him. His fangirls attempted to break them up,her haters would talk behind her back and I was not at all supportive of the relationship because I thought she deserved better. The more people knew about them, the more slander and slut-shaming she faced. People underestimated her because she was pretty, and often lorded it over her her head. But she proved them wrong about their ‘pretty’ prejudice.

We drifted apart for a while, didn’t talk much for sometime. I’m unsocial AF. Both of us were busy with our lives, sometimes we would chat and then we wouldn’t, for months and days. But our friendship is still going strong. I learnt a lot about who she is, what she went through when I read her writing, and that made me realize that she felt as isolated as I did. And I physically isolated myself, she didn’t.

She’s great the way she is and she’ll keep on getting better. You know who you are, bro stop doubting yourself. You’re awesome, stop worrying. Do whatever makes you happy.

And reader, you be happy too.

 

The Friend List: Episode One

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Link to the beginning: The Friend List: Introduction. Have fun reading!

The first friend that I’m going to write about is some one I have mixed feelings for. I have known her for thirteen years now. At first sight, I didn’t like her. She was a smart student, someone who got a lot of attention. Someone with impeccable social skills, a girl with a lot of friends. I was jealous, not of all that but because I thought she stole my best friend. I didn’t really get along with her, but my best friend ( at the time) liked her a lot and so we stuck together. She didn’t like me either, girly fights and playground politics often gave me a mean dose of inferiority complex.

As we grew up, she and I became better friends. Not because we had stuff in common, but ’cause we trusted each other. Yes, I knew she was gossipy but I also knew she would always have my back. And she knew I had hers. I got separated from her in the 8th grade, even though we went our separate ways…our connection didn’t wane. Her social circle grew and mine got smaller. She became a social butterfly, intelligent and quick-witted. Famous for her dimpled cheeks, never-fading smile and Rapunzel like hair. And I sort of became a fat troll with depression.

To those who know me, the mystery of who this is supposed to be is already out. Now begins the story of what happened between us. Both of us had a lot of issues with each other but we still liked each other. She didn’t like my bluntness and I didn’t like some of her friends. She became quite a renowned beauty, but she didn’t flaunt it…others did it for her. I was envious for a bit, but then I saw the beauty and my envy vanished. Both of us became class mates for our junior and senior years. In the Junior year, we were in the same class…but she had her own clique and I was busy with new friends and other distracting stuff. In the last year of our school, we started hanging out a lot more. I genuinely started to find her funny and I liked seeing her happy. We’d play badminton together and often treat ourselves to coffee and french fries. She would come over to my home after our exams and we’d feast on biriyani and nap together. When we had classes together, she’d feed me delicious sandwiches and would listen to me while I rambled and whined. I’d do the same for her, we had great fun together and writing this is making me miss her slightly.

The same year, I got my heart broken and this was also the year she found love. And I was so happy for her, I truly thought ( and think) they’re perfect for one-another. She told me everything about her love life, we would giggle over his texts. She’d try to cheer me up with her sunshine whenever I’d feel blue. Our personalities are somewhat like fire and ice. She’s outgoing and optimistic and I’m the pensive pessimist. Later in the year, controversies broke out; the rumour mills created false stories that dragged me into a mess. I sorted it all out, but I was too shaken and I started withdrawing away from the world.

Meanwhile, her parents found out about her boyfriend and they freaked out. Long fights and punishment, nothing could make her change her mind about him. Her parents took away her phone, she went out of her way to keep in touch with him. Young love, so potent ( they’re still together).  This drama went on and is still going on.  Over time, with studies and graduation on the way…we got busy with figuring out our directions. Both of us lost touch, she called me on my birthday. I didn’t expect her call, I’m glad that she remembered and I wish we’d spoke a bit more…but I was sleepy.

Maybe I’ll call her tomorrow, probably not though.